Hilarious idea by Zach Leatherman. To test if a comment is "snarky" or not, there is an npm package up to the task.
On this site, we generally just delete snarky comments, but I still run a WordPress plugin that allows me to "feature" or "bury" comments. It's old but it still works fine in the latest WordPress. We use the bury functionality for comments that aren't rude, snarky, or spam, but also don't add much to the post. We try to downplay those so they aren't wasting people's time scrolling through the threads.
I dig the Comic Sans idea, so I'm gonna give it a shot. 😉