As for their wanting their site to match their other collateral (menus, merchandise, etc). I feel badly for you as a designer sir. This is what is typically referred to as Branding Failure. Let’s first address the fact that just because people are smart business owners, doesn’t mean they know everything that is best for their business. Websites are essentially a form of Marketing and Branding is key when it comes to such.
When a business owner is looking to branch out into the world wide web, they are doing so for a reason. They are doing it to gain exposure, which in turn results as an increase in revenue. How does a business gain exposure? Brand Recognition! This is something that is a package deal, meaning, new logo (possibly), new website, new collateral, new, new, new…. lol
Trust me though, I know this realm way too well. In my earlier years as a Designer, I had Clients that always thought that they knew what they needed and hardly ever were open to suggestions or advice. One of my first Clients in fact, when I started the project it looked like something that resembled an entire design team was contributing countless hours to and had an amazing quality, but by the time I was finished with it, it looked like something a 4th grader could have done. I learned a few things from that very incident…
Always have a contract with very specific details on the project/time-frame/compensation ratio.
Never begin work until knowing the full scope of the project up-front and make sure it’s ALL in the contract.
I realized then that I am the Designer, they are paying me to deliver them with something that is optimally best for their business, therefore I will always make my suggestions before starting a project. You always have to keep in mind that YOU are the professional in the area that you are being sought for. Don’t let the Client cause you to feel like you can’t do your job.
I have turned away many clients in my career. Sometimes it was hard, especially when the money factored in, but my advice to anyone in the design industry is to never sell out. Stand your ground and choose your clients wisely.