I realize this thread is over one years old. I too am building a presentation with Reveal.js, that will mix slides with full frame videos. I too am wanting to control when the videos play. I have read through this thread and have a couple of follow up questions:
1) Did your solution work? Can you progress through slide deck, then when landing on a slide with a video either autoplay it or prompt it via remote control?
2) Would you be willing to accept a six-pack of beer to hand hold me for a moment to place applicable code, or give me a link to your presentation so I may dissect how you accomplished the solution discussed?
I will be grateful for any help you may be able to offer.