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Amy

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I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Noooooo! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
I can explain. It's very valuable.

Bender

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Belligerent and numerous. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go.
I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things.
How much did you make me? Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Say it in Russian! That's the ONLY thing about being a slave. Really?! I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things.

Hermes

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And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things.
No, she'll probably make me do it.

Leela

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Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! No! Don't jump! These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable
I'm Santa Claus! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? And until then, I can never die?
And until then, I can never die?
Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!
When the lights go out, it's nobody's business what goes on between two consenting adults.

Zoidberg

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Take me to your leader! Kif might! What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Take me to your leader! Hello, little man. I will destroy you! A sexy mistake.
Oh, I think we should just stay friends.
Yes! In your face, Gandhi! But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Hello Morbo, how's the family? That's the ONLY thing about being a slave. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
She also liked to shut up!

Fry

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No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
Hello Morbo, how's the family?

Zapp Brannigan

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Tell them I hate them.
Say it in Russian!
Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Oh sure! Blame the wizards! Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head."

Kif Krikor

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Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! A sexy mistake. No! Don't jump! No! I want to live!
And when we woke up, we had these bodies.
Bender, this is Fry's decision… and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.

Nibbler

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Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me! I just told you! You've killed me! No! The cat shelter's on to me. Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
Now what?
Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.