hehehe… jokes

[__]

Jokes only; no commentary.
Good ones. Clean. Programming-related highly preferred.

They say that if you play a Windows CD backwards, you hear satanic chanting. Well, it’s still better than playing it forwards.

Doing that installs Windows.

[nixnerd]

Bash Russian Roulette:

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo Click

Don’t run that.

[nixnerd]

Slightly risqué but I can’t resist any longer:

Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

Probably my all-time favorite.

[nixnerd]

An 5EO expert walks into a bar, pub, liquor store, brewery, alcohol, beer, whiskey, vodka

[nixnerd]

[nixnerd]

[__]

[ 192.99.35.164, 216.244.74.236 ]

// ip, ip array

[__]

At Joe’s request.
Context: Slow compile times with Sass/SCSS?

Also, featured your “5EO” joke because you had to use a 5 instead of an S… very “meta.”

[__]

Not technically a joke, but it sure feels like it sometimes.

/^(?!(?:(?:\x22?\x5C[\x00-\x7E]\x22?)|(?:\x22?[^\x5C\x22]\x22?)){255,})(?!(?:(?:\x22?\x5C[\x00-\x7E]\x22?)|(?:\x22?[^\x5C\x22]\x22?)){65,}@)(?:(?:[\x21\x23-\x27\x2A\x2B\x2D\x2F-\x39\x3D\x3F\x5E-\x7E]+)|(?:\x22(?:[\x01-\x08\x0B\x0C\x0E-\x1F\x21\x23-\x5B\x5D-\x7F]|(?:\x5C[\x00-\x7F]))\x22))(?:\.(?:(?:[\x21\x23-\x27\x2A\x2B\x2D\x2F-\x39\x3D\x3F\x5E-\x7E]+)|(?:\x22(?:[\x01-\x08\x0B\x0C\x0E-\x1F\x21\x23-\x5B\x5D-\x7F]|(?:\x5C[\x00-\x7F]))\x22)))@(?:(?:(?!.[^.]{64,})(?:(?:(?:xn--)?[a-z0-9]+(?:-[a-z0-9]+)\.){1,126}){1,}(?:(?:[a-z][a-z0-9])|(?:(?:xn--)[a-z0-9]+))(?:-[a-z0-9]+))|(?:\[(?:(?:IPv6:(?:(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){7})|(?:(?!(?:.[a-f0-9][:\]]){7,})(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){0,5})?::(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){0,5})?)))|(?:(?:IPv6:(?:(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){5}:)|(?:(?!(?:.*[a-f0-9]:){5,})(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){0,3})?::(?:[a-f0-9]{1,4}(?::[a-f0-9]{1,4}){0,3}:)?)))?(?:(?:25[0-5])|(?:2[0-4][0-9])|(?:1[0-9]{2})|(?:[1-9]?[0-9]))(?:\.(?:(?:25[0-5])|(?:2[0-4][0-9])|(?:1[0-9]{2})|(?:[1-9]?[0-9]))){3}))\]))$/i

[valimai]

Whenever I talked about web cookies to my friends, they always ask me “how does it taste?”

[nixnerd]

The tunnel vision of nerds:

Apparently this setup cost over $200k. For that… why not just buy a Ferrari? I guess that would require interaction with the real world.

[nixnerd]

To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

[nixnerd]

ri·div·u·lous
/riˈdivyələs/

adjective

deserving or inviting derision or mockery because of how many divs there are; absurd amount of divs.
“when you realize how ridivulous your site is, you will have to laugh”

Source: @traq AKA Mr. Thunderscore

[shaneisme]

(I’m a big fan of one-liners… especially those that induce a groan from the audience)

Grasshopper goes into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, we got a drink named after you!” “Phil?”

Neutron goes into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, “For you, no charge…”

Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Uh………………..” Bartender says “Why the big pause?”

If at first you don’t succeed call it version 1.0.

[__]

(I’m a big fan of one-liners… especially those that induce a groan from the audience)

uuhhhhhhhg… indeed.

Two threads walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and immediately pulls them aside. “Now, I want don’t any of those conditions race like time last!”

[Author]

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